Our constructed view of the world is complex and multi-faceted. It includes everything about our social situation, our place in the world, our religion and understanding about God. When we encounter someone who has a different version and understanding of these things, we immediately feel threatened because our world, which is just our world, might fall apart.
The practice of peace, encapsulated by the idea of loving our enemies, builds on the idea of spiritual indifference. We let go of our preferences so that we can listen for God’s preference. In the practice of peace, we seek to release our constructed view of the world so that we can listen to another’s constructed view of the world. We eschew violence in favor of relationships and compassion.
When we hear the word peace, especially in relation to social systems, we tend to think in large terms like war between countries. But peace as a spiritual practice begins with our most intimate and basic relationships. Contemplative communities have always recognized this issue and have placed relational dynamics at the heart of what it means to be in spiritual community. Because the truth is that we annoy one another a lot! This annoyance is caused by the friction when two egos collide, and this is why the practice of indifference, of letting go of these habits, is essential when we talk about loving our enemies. Our best friend or partner can go from being the person closest to us to our enemy in seconds flat; all they need to do is leave a dirty sock on the floor or a cabinet open in the kitchen.
When we are together with people for any length of time, these annoyances build. Perhaps the first few times we can let them go, but soon we find ourselves thinking about them all the time. We may not notice the stress building in our hearts and bodies, but suddenly we are angry or resentful or even convinced that we can’t possibly continue to be with this person. This experience is our ego-self putting up walls between us and the other as it seeks to defend itself against a perceived threat.
Our experience of reality is like what we see in a kaleidoscope: Sometimes we see beautiful coherent patterns, and sometimes we see a jumbled, fractured mess. We move from agreement to war and back again. Our contemplative practice helps us to understand that all the patterns are the same glass, and that they are all temporary, with the light of the Spirit shining through everything. Peace is not the times when we like the glass patterns; peace is seeing the light. In a community where everyone has taken a vow to work through the moments of enmity and practice peace, we can, over time, lessen the power of the ego process and begin to love one another, even though sometimes we are enemies.
Daniel Wolpert is a spiritual director, Presbyterian pastor, author, and student of the spiritual life.
This reflection was adapted from Looking Inward, Living Outward: The Spiritual Practice of Social Transformation (Upper Room Books, 2024).
“Dan Wolpert's new book takes Jesus' primary teachings and makes them our curriculum for inner spiritual formation and for transformative engagement with our world” (Brian D. McLaren). Looking Inward, Living Outward calls us back to a life of prayer and twelve specific spiritual practices that re-orient our gaze outward in acts of social transformation. Learn more here. →
Consider a recent conflict. How could you have approached it differently to foster peace?
What practices help you to release your preferences so that you can listen to others and hear God’s preferences?
Share your responses with others in the comments below!
Loading more...