“Two Hands”

By Dana Ryan

When my parents moved to Hong Kong, they had to learn new customs in order to interact in the new culture. During my first visit, my mother explained a few of the cultural practices to me so I could avoid misunderstandings. Just before a shopping expedition, she told me about the two-handed rule.

"When you hand someone something," she said, "always hold it with both hands. Using only one hand is considered rude."

I thought it would be easy enough to do but soon discovered otherwise. Holding objects with both hands was difficult enough; remembering to do so was equally challenging. On a number of occasions I caught myself in the act of handing someone something with only one hand. I'm also a fan of multi-tasking and take pride in my ability to do a gazillion things at once. But when I was required to hand my purchase, or my business card, or my money to someone with both hands, multi-tasking came to a standstill. My hands could only hold one thing, thus receiving all of my attention. In addition, the act of using two hands also forced me to focus on the individual with whom I was interacting, rather than allowing the person to serve as a mere means to an end. In a culture where respect is one of the highest values, the two-handed rule makes sense. Respect requires focus.

This experience taught me the importance of having an awareness of cultural differences as the world becomes increasingly global. Had I not known about holding objects with both hands, I would have unknowingly created a trail of insults. Not only does such awareness avoid misunderstandings, but it also teaches us new ways to understand and look at the world.

When I returned to the United States, I reflected upon my time in Hong Kong. For some reason the two-handed rule really stuck with me — such a small act and yet so powerful in its implications. I thought about how I sometimes come to God with my "hands full," and although I might shift whatever I'm grasping to free one hand, the other remains clenched — dividing my attention and my heart. My worship is distracted, which (when you think about it) is not really worship. If I am to bring true worship to God, I must give an undivided heart, offered with two hands. And in my interactions with others, if I do not focus my attention on them, does that not signify a lack of respect, even a lack of love?

The practice of holding objects with both hands has changed my relationship with God and with others. I am more aware of focus, of giving my undivided attention out of love and respect. And I am less quick to assume I know the "right" way of doing something because I realize how skewed my vision is by my cultural lens. I'm thankful for my experience in Hong Kong and for the way it has given me a deeper appreciation of both God and of the people God loves.

Dana Ryan, a freelance writer, enjoys spending time with international students attending Arizona State University.